Goodbye Mr. Chip

After listening to the radio host preach on about what a terrible mistake the Eagles had made (a point I very much wanted to believe), I dailed in.

"Chip Kelly has proven he can coach in the NFL," the host declared. "I think he's one of the brilliant minds in the game today."

Disagree. I waited on hold for a half-hour or so...

"John in Pennsylvania!" Mr. Big-Time Radio Host hollared in my ear.

I had heard Mr. Big Time's points over the previous hour and calmly and quickly refuted them.

"Chip took over a 4-12 team and won the NFC East!"

I provided context: yes, Kelly took over an Eagles team suffering from Reid Fatigue (Andy was fired a year too late), got the gravy last-place schedule, brought some clever new college offensive concepts and won 10 games.

"We're talking about a guy who's five games over .500 in three years!"

Yes, Kelly is 26-21 overall, which breaks down to 19-9 in his first 28 games, and 7-12 in his last 19.

"He had the No. 1 offense his first two years in the league!"

His details were lacking. The Birds did not lead the NFL in scoring or yards in either year, but the point was valid.

I explained that gimmicks don't last in the NFL. Nobody runs the Wildcat anymore, and RG III and his read option are on the bench.

We both claimed Nick Foles.

"Look at Nick Foles," I said. "Kelly's gimmick offense turned this mediocre QB into one of the best NFL seasons in history. Everyone knows Nick Foles can't play!"

"John, you're making my point for me," Important Radio Host replied. "If it's just a gimmick offense, why did it dominate college football season after season?"

Because college football is played by 19- and 20-year-old kids who have no problem running around nonstop for 12-13 games. A smart guy running a machine-gun offense like Kelly's (or Mike Leach's) has a leg up on recruiting the best athletes. The run-and-gun offense overwhelms lesser teams and many games are over at the half.

The NFL is played by men. And Kelly's 320-pound offensive linemen did not like running nonstop. His defensive players didn't like spending 40 minutes and 80 plays on the field each week.

And this is why Mr. Chip is at his NFL crossroads. His offensive gimmicks will not work in the NFL. His inflexibility will not work. I saw the Eagles go three-and-out four straight series, and the fifth series, the offense was back out there trying to run a play every 15 seconds.

That has to change if Kelly plans to win again at his next stop.

Mr. Radio Host's response?

They're not Booing; They're Yelling 'Bruuuuuce!'

Bruce Springsteen released his first album, "Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J." 43 years ago Jan. 5.

In honor of the anniversary, I recap my top six Bruce songs. I considered a simple top five, but couldn't leave any of these songs out. These six make up my Boss A list that I have come to love over the past 30 years listening to Bruce.

1. "Incident on 57th Street." I know this song doesn't top many lists, but it's my number one. I remember the first time I heard this song many years ago. I was at a red light when the song braked for a doo wop moment, and I remember thinking "What in the world is this?" I had never heard a rock-n-roll song put together quite this way, with a story flowing over stops and starts, complex instrumentation and even a semi-spoken part.
The lyrical imagry is just ridiculously good. Bruce had to be carrying these lyrics around for years. The second album off which "Incident" came was produced just a few months after the debut album.
"Incident" is very much a "West Side Story" song, and admirers of that musical might not find it all that original. But this tale of Spanish Johnny and Jane is my epic.

Link: The song.
Favorite lyric: "Spanish Johnny you can leave me tonight, but just don't leave me alone."
Instrument highlight: David Sancious punishes the organ
Quibble: The "sister prays for lost souls" lyric always seemed like it doesn't belong.

2. "Thunder Road." My favorite Bruce song for many years before I heard "Incident," "Thunder Road" is another lyrical and arrangement masterpiece. I used to listen to this song over and over and over and never could get the lyrics just right. It just moves so crisply, and Bruce completely eschews trite phrasing.
Bruce wrote plenty about busting out during the 70s, and for my dime, "Thunder" is the best. "Born to Run" is great, but was overplayed for me. With an intense, rapid fire delivery, Bruce perfectly captures the youthful craving for adventure. The "Thunder" buildup to its thunderous ending is one of rock's epic moments. It still gives me chills despite hearing it about a thousand times.
The song was chosen to kickoff what was a make-or-break album for the Boss, which also gives it a special place. Bruce identified with the "Thunder Road" title and it appears in the chorus of a later song ("The Promise). "Thunder Road" is the title of a 1958 movie starring Robert Mitchum. As was his habit, Bruce had the title in mind first, then wrote the song to fit.

Link: The song.
Favorite lyric: "It's a town full of losers and I'm pullin outta here to win."
Instrument highlight: Roy Bittan's piano begins plaintively and ends rollicking
Quibble: At 4:49, you wish it were longer

3. "Badlands." Here we go with the first of three straight off my favorite album, "Darkness of the Edge of Town." Another great movie title that Bruce lifted for inspiration. This is another one I probably have ranked higher than most. Unlike the spectacular time and tempo changes found on other classics, Bruce and team keep it pretty simple here. But sometimes, simple works.
"Badlands" is a straight-ahead pounder about life's inevitable rough patches. I certaily identify with a lot of the themes. While it's not epic in arrangement or length, it conveys similar power with an economy of style. If there's a quintessential Springsteen song, this might be it. It's my car go-to song coming out of long meetings, or heading out on Friday nights and road trips.


Link: The song.
Favorite lyric: "I wanna find one face that ain't lookin' through me."
Instrument highlight: Max Weinberg's drumming drives the song
Quibble: I got nothing

4. "Racing in the Street." The music does it for me here. The extended instrumental coda that ends the song is right up there with "Hotel California." As a story, "Racing" takes Bruce's favorite life and love themes and sends them to the racetrack. Driving and cars are metaphors he returns to often in his writing. As he did with a few songs, Bruce recorded slow and fast versions of "Racing." The slow version is far superior, and includes refined lyrics.
Bruce and the band languished in the sidelines for a year and a half while a lawsuit against manager Mike Appel was resolved. With nothing to do but write, record, and perfect these songs, this became Springsteen's most fertile period as an artist. "Racing" is one song that benefited from the extra studio time.

Link: The song.
Favorite lyric: "She stares off alone into the night, with the eyes of one who hates for just being born."
Instrument highlight: Bittan's piano, Federici's organ and Weinberg's drums harmonize perfectly here.

Quibble: The "Racing" lyrics feel just a bit too dense and unfocused. The first two verses describe male bonding through racing. The last verse introduces a girl and her dark world. Perhaps a tad too ambitious.

5. "Darkness on the Edge of Town." I have always liked the album title track -- yet another case where Bruce reportedly came up with a great title first -- but time moved it onto my A list. The vocals take chances, with Bruce singing of a lost love and regret, then growling angry responses. One can see the influence of gritty rock vocal stylings of The Animals here.
Bruce sings of a former flame ("I hear she's got a house up in Fairview"), dropping a reference to an upsacle New Jersey township in the process. He follows up with a vicious takedown ("And a style she's tryin' to maintain").
The E Streeters are again up to the task here. A break after verse two wonderfully blends Bittan's piano and Bruce's lead guitar, with Weinberg busting in to keep things moving. "Darkness" ends with Bittan leading the rhythm section in another beautiful mini-coda.

Link: The song.
Favorite lyric: "Where no one asks any questions, or looks to long in your face."
Instrument highlight: The Boss proves he's a pretty good guitar player, too.

Quibble: Not a one.

6. "Jungleland." Number one on many lists, I am partial to "Incident" when it comes to Bruce's operatic odes to teen love and loss. But "Jungleland" is an unquestioned rock classic, fueled by perhaps the greatest rock solo ever.
For me, "Jungleland" is a hair too polished and perfect. The characters ("Maximum Lawman," "Barefoot Girl"), the lines ("an opera out on the turnpike") and the production feel just a shade too overdone. Even Clarence's great solo was pieced together by Bruce from many, many takes. The Boss set out to make a masterpiece for the ages, and he accomplished his goal. But I think he lost a little grittiness along the way. I do love the song and appreciate its majestic beauty, but it might be a 9 instead of a 10 for me.

Link: The song.
Favorite lyric: "And the poets down here don't write nothing at all. They just stand back and let it all be."
Instrument highlight: The Big Man.

Quibble: See above.

Things People Say When You're Dead

Will people say nice things after you die?

One would assume so. It certainly is part of our contract with a civilized society.

But I learned as a young person to read between the lines. I learned this after Billy Martin died on Christmas Day 1989.

Billy died in a wreck outside his farm near Binghamton, N.Y., not far from my hometown. He was just 61.

You couldn't grow up loving baseball in the 1970s without knowing Billy Martin. Billy was crazy. He would fight anyone anywhere over anything.

While the Yankees were never on my radar, as an undersized kid, I had a certain admiration for battlin' Billy. He fought writers, fans, teammates and owners. He once fought a marshmellow salesman in Minnesota. Billy was crazy.

He would say and do anything, usually at the same time and the wrong time, and at great personal cost to himself.

In hindsight, his best fight was really his worst. In 1985, Billy went at it with big Ed Whitson, one of his starting pitchers. The pair started up inside a Baltimore hotel bar and traded punches in the lobby, parking lot and in the hotel.

Billy was a sick man. And he was probably a horse's ass if you had to rely on him for anything. The night before the Whitson fight, Billy had to be separated from a patron at the same hotel bar.

But you don't say those things when someone dies. Billy's death was met with the usual euphemistic gymnastics.

Billy was a "passionate fighter" instead of a drunken brawler. The paranoid attacks became part of Billy's "spunky tenacity." Billy was "a winner," rather than the guy fired from every manager job he ever had. Usually leaving controversy in his wake.

It was around this time that I realized you can be whoever you want to be in life and people are required to dress it up at your funeral.

Interestingly, Theodore Roosevelt had much in common with Billy Martin. Both liked a good fight. Roosevelt was an adept boxer who held regular sparring matches in the White House -- until he was hit so hard it blinded him in the left eye.

But despite these similarities, Roosevelt did not lose control like Billy did. Teddy wanted to be a part of institutions from the inside, so he could lead fundamental change for the outside.

Teddy was as brilliant as Billy was crazy.

One of history's greatest Americans, Roosevelt is loved and claimed by both Democrats and Republicans. The kind of person who inspires people to special sentiments.

One of my favorite quotes was delivered in the days following TR's death in his sleep on Jan. 5, 1919. I like it because it shows a great thought and care to express the most appropriate sentiment deserving such a great man.

No euphemisms here.

"Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping," said Vice President Thomas R. Marshall. "For if he had been awake, there would have been a fight."

The NFL's January Problem

Football coaches rely on euphemistic phrasing to get the point across:

"Play physical" and "be aggressive" are favorites. A more candid Michael Irvin, or the late Al Davis, might allow a "hit em in the mouth" to slip out.

Everyone knows the deal: controlled violence and subtle intimidation wins football games. And at this time of year, coaches don't mind if the "controlled" slides into "un" territory, or the subtle is not so much.

This is the NFL's problem as it races to reverse the detrimental impacts on player safety. It's a thin line between tough and felonious.

Sunday saw a pair of ugly incidents that portend playoff football. Incidents that highlight the ubiquitous paradox facing the game.

You know about Odell Beckham launching the crown of his helmet into the jaw of the Carolina Panthers' Josh Norman. Somehow, Norman escaped injury.

You might have missed a similar cheap shot by Pittsburgh Steelers' center Cody Wallace, who delivered a flying, helmet-to-helmet late hit on the Broncos' David Bruton.

An NFL spotter immediately removed the woozy Bruton to check for concussion symptoms. He returned to the game, but suffered a broken leg at some point. He played through that injury. Of course.

Monday is hand-wringing day at NFL Headquarters, and ODB was suspended one game. Rumor has it Wallace faces "a hefty fine."

Maybe it all misses a bigger point. Notice that Giants' head coach Tom Coughlin didn't remove Beckham from the game. Nor was Wallace otherwise rebuked for his personal foul.

In fact, CBS cameras caught Steelers' head man Mike Tomlin giving an approving nod after the play. Tomlin looked like Cobra Kai sensei Martin Cove after one of his teenage lieutenants took out Daniel LaRusso's leg.

I believe football can be played in a relatively safe environment. Note the phrasing "relatively safe." Humans slamming into one another repeatedly will never be a very safe activity.

But the level of play rises when players hit harder. It's a zero sum game and there can only be one winner. January football is about persuading your opponent to tap out first.

The Giants wound up losing, but it's worth noting they outscored the Panthers 28-3 after Beckham's violent broadside.

When questioned about it today, Coughlin was appropriately contrite. But he also said he liked the aggressiveness.

That's January football. It'll be interesting to see if the NFL can hold the line.

The Trade

It was another bitter cold late February afternoon at the Sixers' South Broad Street offices when "The Trade" went down.

The terms were agreed to when Vince Rozman, director of basketball operations, looked General Manager Sam Hinkie in the eye and said "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Hinkie didn't respond, but flashed a stubborn thumbs up.

OK, the Michael Carter-Williams trade didn't really go down that way. Probably not. The above exchange actually played out just prior to Fonzie jumping that shark in 1977.

But it certainly seems appropriate here to wonder if history will record the MCW trade as the point Hinkie went too far. Pre-MCW trade, the Sixers were still bad, sporting a 12-41 record, but they were progressing, if only incrementally.

The Trade seemingly turned the Sixers into the NBA's Middle East: a place where solutions are illusions and every day requires an ever-greater miracle to reverse the relentless spiral of doom.

Winning? The Sixers no longer think about winning X number of games, but rather avoiding new nightly embarassments. They are 7-50 since The Trade.

Pre-The Trade, the Sixers' roster -- while not good -- had fun, played fun, and some players actually improved. Since TT, a Sixers' game resembles another House Benghazi hearing: it's long and boring, filled with inept bumbling, and other than the occassional play for the cameras, nobody really wants to be there.

Since The Trade, the Sixers point guard spot has been one long extended tryout session. Ish Smith, Isaiah Canaan, Phil Pressey, TJ McConnell, Tony Wroten and Kendell Marshall have each taken turns playing the QB position.

If you combined Smith's tenacity, Canaan's long-range shooting, Pressey's quickness, McConnell's court vision, Wroten's penetrating ability, and Marshall's size -- you might have a decent NBA backup PG.

Off the court, The Trade signifies the line between positive, sunny growth news, and soul-crushing, curse-resembling, damned-to-an-eternity-of-9-73 hell news.

Joel Embiid lost another season to a bad foot. Who knows if he'll ever play? Rookie Jahil Okafor looked like an impact player -- until he started beating people up outside nightclubs at 3 a.m. I don't remember Jordan doing that.

Worst of all was The Trade's impact on coach Brett Brown, reportedly blindsided by the deal.

The Union army fumbled through many lost months after President Abraham Lincoln lost faith in General McClelland. Whether it was stubborness or protocol, the Lincoln-McClelland relationship went on longer than history needed it to.

While the roles are reversed, one wonders if The Trade is destined to be the point Hinkie lost Brown. Yet, for now, the relationship continues.

Why was MCW traded in the first place, you ask? A dynamic player, the 6-5 Carter-Williams sees the floor better than most PGs, and piled up assists, rebounds and steals with ease. Shooting is to MCW as an open mike is to Ted Cruz. Something will happen and it might look ugly.

But the upside remains tantalizing. In his last eight games, MCW is averaging 15.9 points, 3.9 rebounds, 6.4 assists and 1.3 steals. Best of all, he is shooting .482.

Will it continue? Hard to say for sure. MCW's injuries and spotty shooting could both return at any time.

One wonders if Happy Days will ever find the Sixers again.

Reviewing the Kid GM's First Two Months

My introduction to Matt Klentak came via a photo that made him resemble Mike Damone from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

Damone was a third-rate high school huckster who hit on his best friend's girl, then stood her up when she had to abort his baby. Not exactly inspiring.

Despite the above storyline, the movie is actually a classic 80s comedy. But Phillies' fans have had enough laughing at the player moves made by Klentak's predecessor in the general manager's office.

At 35, the youngest GM in Phillies' history, Klentak is being thrown into the fire. After nearly two months on the job, he's been steady, largely unspectacular, but executing a clear plan.

And the plan is pitching. Klentak has sought and bought arms via every means possible. The end result should shore up the most embarassing aspect of the 2015 Phillies.

Ruben Amaro's pitching staff featured 77 starts by Jerome Williams (21 starts), David Buchanon (15), Sean O'Sullivan (13), Chad Billingsley (7), Severino Gonzalez (7), Alec Asher (7), Kevin Correia (5), Phillipe Aumont (1) and Dustin McGowan (1).

I am offering 7-1 odds against this group of pitchers starting even one game in 2016.

The term is "garbage starts" and every team has a handful each year. At least one or two. The bullpen game. The Triple A starter called up for the second game of a doubleheader. That kind of thing.

The Phillies had 77 garbage starts last year, nearly half their games. This gang of nine combined for an appalling 6.81 ERA. The individual numbers are about as ugly and uncomfortable as a Trump immigration rally.

Buchanon pitched to a 6.99 ERA, while Gonzalez managed a 7.92. Asher outdid everyone, posting a 9.31, leaving his last start with a pasty white look after giving up six hits and three runs in just two frames. Hopefully, he isn't lost forever.

Look, you could argue Williams deserved 10 starts based on what he did in 2014, but none of the other eight deserved a start in the Major Leagues this year. As a result, the Phillies lost way too many games before the celebrity first pitch was thrown.

Klentak is aiming to change that, and good on him. As things stand on Dec. 17, the acquisitions of vets Charlie Morton and Jeremy Hellickson, along with prospects Vince Velasquez, Brett Oberholtzer and Mark Appel, means the Phils will enter Spring Training with seven quality starter candidates.

Aaron Nola, Jerad Eickhoff and Adam Morgan are the holdovers. Appel, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2013 draft, joins Jake Thompson and Zach Elfin as strong propects who will likely start at Triple A.

IF one (or more) of them end up starting games for the big club in 2016, it will be because they pitched their way to the opportunity.

Not because they had to.