Time to Bern? Not likely

Relax Right America, Bernie Sanders isn't going to be president.

His time is going to run out, much like it did for William Lloyd Garrison and Lucy Stone. The former was an early abolitionist, while the latter led the women's suffrage movement.

History will remember Sanders, too, once the United States completes its transformation to a complete social welfare democracy. Yes, it's inevitable.

If you're scoffing at this point, please consider the history of the American psyche. We are progressive, as all humans are. But we are the scared, suspicious, white-knuckle-freedom-clinging kind of progressive.

And that usually means the rest of the free world is likely to evolve long before we do. We like to scuffle over an issue for a few decades before we grudgingly give change a try.

Consider slavery. By the time Lincoln issued the Emanicpation Proclaimation, we were one of the last first-world civilizations still sanctioning the foul practice. It took decades, and the loss of 620,000 lives, for Americans to overcome their deep fear of change and renounce slavery.

Consider Social Security. Signed into law by FDR in 1935, the U.S. program trailed many European nations by 30-40 years. The need had existed for much longer. American ex-presidents Madison, Jefferson and Monroe all died penniless, or in significant debt, in 1825 and 1833. One can imagine how ordinary elderly citizens (if they lived that long) suffered through their final years throughout the 19th century.

Still, it would take another century and a calamitous depression to produce an old-age pensioners program. And it wasn't exactly hailed by all either. Another two-year battle would rage before the U.S. Supreme Court sided with Roosevelt and Social Security began.

Not before Sen. Alf Landon voiced the specious fears of the change-haters: "It will impose a crushing burden on industry and labor [and] establish a bureaucracy in the field of insurance in competition with private business."

Yeah, about that...

So that brings us to the current issues of health insurance and gun control. On both, we are once again trailing every significant country in the world. We are much further along on the former than the latter, but it will take some time yet before we get to the single-payer system that is all but inevitable.

The concept of President Sanders will move the boulder a few meters up the hill. But there's still too many right-winging, bitter-clinging, proud clingers out there to make it a viable option in the foreseeable future. 

Those folks will again mask their fear of change in references to the Founding Fathers and "limited government." 

In reality, those Fathers (minus Jefferson) recognized fairly quickly that there are things a strong central government can do better than the private sector. Adams, Washington, Madison and others endorsed hasty changes to give the government power to make treaties, levy taxes and build roads.

Washington sought to crush a rebellion similar to the nonsense in Oregon.

So no, Bernie isn't going to be president. But get used to his ideas. He's giving you a glimpse into the future.

My Favorite Seinfeld Moments

Not everyone gets Seinfeld -- and that's not a bad thing. It was a quirky bit of nothingness that blazed across our TV screens like a Tony Danza workout video.

And then sitcoms returned to doing what sitcoms do, with a few more cameras and a bit of multi-plot storytelling thrown in.

Seinfeld was an original. It remains TV's most original comedy. As such, the list of memorable scenes is rather lengthy.

Bill Wolfe won't agree, but these are my top five. All are Kenny Bania-approved. Giddyup!

1. He took ... It out.

I love this scene because it involves all four characters and they all have hilarious turns at the material. And let's be honest -- it's a great concept and a great line. Anybody that you can't immediately bond with over a "He took it out" quip isn't a true Seinfeldian.

This is quite simply a masterpiece of comic genius from JLD. Julia owns the scene from start to finish. In fact, if she were to expire tomorrow and need a one-minute audition tape to get into comedy heaven, this is all she needs.

My favorite part is Elaine fogging up her glasses in the middle of the money line.

"He took (blows on glasses) it out."

Now Jerry is a comedian and not an actor. But as he often did, he raises his game here. I never felt Seinfeld was acting in these scenes. He's just a funny guy riffing with a funny girl.

"So you're talking, having a pleasant conversation, and all of a sudden..."

"It."

"It."

"Out."

"Out."

Throughout this marvelous exchange, Julia delivers several clever comebacks in modulated tones. Then Kramer enters and, unlike Jerry, needs no explanation at all.

"Well, maybe it needed air. It can't breathe in there!"

The topic is on such a wonderful roll, it continues in the ensuing scene -- with Jerry recounting the events for George. And George gets his great line.

"I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought about taking mine off."

2. The Opposite.

This is here because "The Opposite" is my Seinfeld nirvana. Larry David and Jerry at their Mt. Everest of nothingness. I picture Larry coming up with this premise and then writing the entire episode in 20 minutes. It practically writes itself.

The story arc is perfect Seinfeld quirkiness: the ever pessimistic, neurotic George concocting a scheme to reverse his lifetime curse by simply ignoring his base instincts.

This is Jason Alexander's tour de force. There are so many great lines ("Why shave every day; It just grows back") and scenes here that I want to just list the entire episode. But to narrow it down to one scene leaves only one choice: the opening.

To watch George seize on this wackadoodle idea is hysterical. Of course, Jerry is there to do what Jerry always does to his pal, that is, egg him on. Elaine provides wonderful nonverbal reactions that keep the scene moving along nicely.

It all ends up at the usual place -- comic gold -- as George approaches a woman at the coffee shop, something he would never do.

"My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

"I'm Victoria. (big smile) Hi."

What makes the episode and scene work so marvelously is how George's crazy idea is actually quite sensible. We believe what we are seeing because we know the secret George doesn't know. That his belief in this hairbrained scheme has given him a belief in himself. He has confidence and that is why he gets the girl, and a job with the New York Yankees.

Of course, George doesn't see it. He wouldn't be George if he did, right?

3. She's Bald!

Another ensemble piece with everybody chipping in. This one is here because (obviously) it's a very funny scene. But it's also a landmark moment in the series, the scene where George's unending obsession with his baldness reaches its pinnacle.

But first, a comment on the writing. Superb as usual. One reason I give few sitcoms a chance is the lame writing. I know it is a lot more difficult than it seems, but if I can guess your lame punch lines in my head, then I'm not going to watch.

Few shows can write lines like this: "Let me tell you something. No one walks into a beauty parlor and says 'Give me the Larry Fine.'"

The scene rachets up when Elaine calls George out for his shameless hypocrisy.

"You're rejecting somebody because they're bald."

"So?"

You're bald!"

Elaine is a classic sassy broad and she's having none of George's bullshit. The confrontation is just what George needs to deal with the bald issue once and for all and go on to a happy life. Well, not necessarily happy, per se, but he's back to being George.

"You're like a bald again," Jerry quips.

4. Worlds collide.

This was a tough one between worlds collide and "we're not men." This is from our Seinfeld for Singles collection. Single men, that is.

Let's face it, Seinfled is a guy's show. The majority of characters, regular and recurring, were male. Even Elaine is the type of gal who is more likely to have guy friends than girlfriends.

 As a guy's show, the Seinfelders covered relationship issues mainly from a guy's perspective. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Whenever I see the episode with Marcy yada yadaing sex, I think "a guy wrote that line." Doesn't make it any less funny.

The world's collide concept once again puts George in the lead. Guys recognize this as one of those quirky concepts that make perfect sense to us. But only Seinfeld would tackle it in a TV show.

It's out of character for Jerry not to know the worlds concept, but necessary for plot purposes. George's impassioned explanation is what makes this scene memorable. Scenes like this won Jason regular Emmy nominations.

"If Relationship George walks through that door, he will kill Independent George! A George divided against itself cannot stand!"

"It's all just slippin' away... and you're lettin' it happen!"

5. Super Bowl sex romp.

The last spot is the hardest and this is the third time I am rewriting this section. "The Marine Biologist" (my second-favorite episode) was initially here, then I considered terrific scenes from "The Contest" and "The Pilot."

In the end, I could not leave off what I consider possibly the greatest single line in Seinfeld history. You know the one:

"I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, and then he de-gifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp."

This is Seinfeld in one sentence -- why people either love it or hate it. I get that some people find it a little too smart-alecky, but those of us who love it, love it for the clever originality.

It was never banal. It was never trite. And I doubt we'll ever see anything like it again.

Adams and Jefferson

David MCCullough's famed biography "John Adams" should really be called "Adams and Jefferson" since it is very much dominated by their relationship.

Understandably so as they were linked for decades, bound by respect, divided by differences. In a timeline that is well known, Adams and Jefferson ceased speaking for many years before Benjamin Rush nudged the pair toward a reconcilliation.

Their ensuing correspondance that filled their retirement years with a delightful exchange of ideas.

I have not seen the miniseries based on McCullough's book, but it rightly raised Adams' profile. Past presidents are frequently judged and rejudged, with their grades adjusted accordingly.

After reading the book, I don't think Adams gets enough credit as a great man. No doubt his foibles did him no favors. He was at various times a petty, vain sourpuss who was quite simply high maintenance.

His counfounding decision to sign the Alien and Sedition Acts confirmed his leading role in one of the most embarassing laws in U.S. history.

But there is far more good than bad. Adams was a man of impeccable character. His character and integrity were of legendary standard. As a young lawyer, he defended British officers knowing it would make him highly unpopular.

Adams did extraordinary work in Paris and London during the 1780s. His diplomacy was crucial for the young nation in a time of need.

As a vice president, Adams had little to do for two terms. But when he ascended to the presidency, war with France seemed inevitable. Much of the nation was torn, with pro-French passions high.

It was here that Adams showed his considerable intellect, diplomacy and political skill in keeping the young country out of what surely would have been a devastating war. At one point, Adams wrote an amazing letter to Congress reversing an earlier position on sending ministers to France.

It was a courageous act, one that made him scorn from supporters and ridicule from opponents. But it was the right move for the country.

Adams later appointed the great John Marshall to the Supreme Court, a monumental move. These wins should burnish the reputation of a great president, and while scholars generally give Adams good marks, his legacy seems more meh.

No doubt the man himself deserves blame for this. He did things like leaving town at 4 a.m. the day of Jefferson's inaugural. That is not a good look. Adams was definitely a mercurial man.

But he was also a great president.

George Washington

I am in a few weeks into a project to read bios of all 44 U.S. presidents. After a detour to read a pair of excellent Theodore Roosevelt books, I started at the beginning with George Washington.

I am now up to Lynne Cheney's 2012 bio of James Madison and I wanted to jot down a few thoughts before they escape me. It is fascinating to look back on our infant nation and the astonishing ways things were so different and yet very much the same.

Let me explain. The differences resulted primarily from lack of precedence and the technology of the time. Still, these things are interesting in hindsight. For example, Thomas Jefferson didn't learn until months later that he had been appointed secretary of state by Washington.

Some behaviors have changed greatly, too. In the 18th century, to show ambition for public office was considered a faux pas. So great men like John Adams were required to wait to be asked to serve.

And the presidential timelines were seriocomical. Washington decided a few weeks before the fall election to accept a second term. The evolution of competitive presidential campaigns with Adams v. Jefferson in 1796 is interesting to review.

The ways things remain unchanged is equally fascinating. We are an interesting people, and our groupthink response to Syrian refugees, for example, echoes our earliest American ancestors.

In 1798, Adams signed the Alien and Sedition Acts, an unfortunate set of laws in response to the pressing French crisis. The former gave the president the authority to immediately expel any French-American suspected of conspiring against America.

Sound familiar? It's worth noting that Adams never expelled anyone, and it's highly likely no Syrian refugees will turn up as future terrorists. Seems probable that a better study of history might elicit a better response.

More thoughts on Washington:

1. Washington: He's been called the perfect man for the time, and it's hard to argue with those sentiments. The patience and foresight exhibitied by President Washington is remarkable. He had a special ability to elicit not just respect, but devotion from those around him, strangers and confidantes alike.
We recognize this as leadership, of course, but Washington had something more. His compassion and integrity (and probably his physical stature) made women want to be with him, and men want to be like him.
While he enjoyed a honeymoon of sorts during his first term, Washington frequently found himself between Federalists and Republicans during his second term. He was attacked by the press, and more often, from his own double-dealing cabinet officials.
Washington almost never responded, an incredible display of discipline and probity that carried him calmly through the fiercest of political crisises. It turned out to be a vital display of courage in leadership for a young nation that, despite winning independence in 1783, was under almost continuous threat of attack for the next several decades.
Washington's extraordinary heroism and leadership extended to his deathbed, where he kept a team of the best doctors informed on his progress ("It won't be long now") and instructed a trusted aide to delay burial until "three hours after death." The old general was concerned he'd be buried alive.

Those F***ing Signs!

One thing I admire about Bruce the person is his unique ability to remain true to his roots despite becoming one of the most famous artists in the world.
And that's not some line from his PR bio either.
During the 1990s, Bruce was known for taking to the streets of Freehold, N.J. to watch parades, a little Springsteen on his shoulders. Yet another small-town parent watching a parade, just one who happened to sell 120 million albums worldwide.
In "Bruce," Peter Ames Carlin writes of Springsteen riding his Harley through rural Jersey when he happened upon a couple dudes bullshitting over a motorcycle. Bruce pulled up and joined the conversation, eventually ending up in the stranger's backyard tossing back a Budweiser.
I will never interview Bruce, unless he starts selling insurance, but I did talk to a Mechanicsburg woman who did interior design for the singer. Carol Kemery said The Boss was a wonderful boss, and totally down to earth.
Oh, about my headline. One thing younger Bruce did not like about his public: "Those fucking signs" that popped up during his shows. In a tradition (one Bruce has made peace with), fans display signs of songs they want to hear.
Here's numbers 7-12 on my Boss List:

7. "The River." It took me a long time to warm up to title track to album No. 5. I've come to consider it, accurately or not, the last of Bruce's epic story songs. Most of his post-River work is shorter, uptempo rockers mixed with the occassional social justice song.
"The River" is a bit unbalanced to me. The first two verses are shorter and good, but the third verse is a big one, and tremendous writing. The music matches the dichotomy of quality. It's not that the first half of the song is bad, more that the second half is so terrific.
Of course, the story of "The River" origin is well known. Bruce's sister Ginny is the protagonist here, and supposedly heard the song for the first time at a sold-out show at Madison Square Garden in 1979. Despite the tough circumstances Ginny and Mickey went through, the real-life couple remains married.

Video: The song.
Favorite line: "Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?"
Instrumental highlight: Bruce pulls out the harmonica
Quibble: Bit of a downer, even for Bruce

8. "Backstreets." This is a big-time, powerful rock-and-roll song. This time, the extended instrumental brilliance comes at the beginning, as Roy Bittan plays the piano and organ to set the stage. Bruce sings of summer adventures, this time with "Terry," which has led to some speculation over the gender of the main character.
Bruce's vocals are mixed deep into the music. Overall it's a different sound, I guess representative of Ronnie Specter's "Wall of Sound" recording method. It all gives "Backstreets" a big, booming effect.
I feel this is the one major song in the Bruce collection that I have much more to learn about.

Video: The song.
Favorite line: "Remember all the movies, Terry, we'd go see. Trying to learn to walk like the heroes, we thought we had to be."
Instrumental highlight: Bittan delivers his best piano work here
Quibble: The mix buries some of the lyrics

9. "Independence Day." Probably too unsubstantial to be credibly ranked ahead of some of the powerhouse songs that follow, but this is my damn list. Fathers and sons will forever be fraught with complications and the themes here are meaningful to me.
The song is a simple message from son to father sung over slow piano, with minor acoustic guitar and drum parts. The mounrful sax solo is terrific. Bruce again delivers a semi-spoken part that mixes things up.

Video: The song.
Favorite line: "There was just no way this house could hold the two of us. I guess that we were just too much of a same kind."
Instrumental highlight: The Big Man's sax solo
Quibble: Bruce's vocals are oddly cheery given the subject material. Probably not a quibble, but noteworthy.

10. "Atlantic City." With its plaintative harmonica, haunting background vocals and vivid lyrics sung in slightly desperate tone, "Atlantic City" captures the seedy underbelly of a seedy city.
This is some of Bruce's best and original writing. In a rarity, Bruce sings the first-person character rather than assigning him a name. A young man with a girl, he is trying to go straight, but he's "been looking for a job but it's hard to find." And well, he's "just tired of comin' out on the losin' end."
The chorus -- "Put your makeup on and fix your hair up pretty and meet me tonight in Atlantic City" -- certainly has a few different meanings. The young man wants his girl to think they can make it. Maybe he's trying to convince himself, too.

Video: The song.
Favorite line: "Down here it's just winners and losers and don't get caught on the wrong side of that line."
Instrumental highlight: Bruce's harmonica
Quibble: Probably not a tune you want to bust out at a party

11. "The Promised Land."
The dogs on Main Street howl
'cause they understand
If I could take one moment into my hands
Mister, I ain't a boy
No, I'm a man
And I believe in a Promised Land.

One of the more accessible, singalong songs in the entire Bruce catalogue, when "The Promised Land" re-appears in my CD player, it gets repeated over and over.
There's been much discussion among Bruce fans over what exactly constitutes "The Promised Land." The song lyrics accurately describe the soul-crushing existence of life on the fringe, while the chorus urges hope in an American ideal. Is it the American Dream? Love of family? Redemption? Religion? Bruce touches on all, but never exactly reveals.
Maybe the Promised Land is where we find it.

Video: The song.
Favorite line: "Blow away the dreams that tear you apart. Blow away the dreams that break your heart."
Instrumental highlight: Bruce's harmonica. Again
Quibble: Nothing. I love this song.

12. The Promise. Yet another Bruce tale on wrestling with life's demons while trying to find some self-love and happiness. And another song with two versions -- I prefer the stripped down arrangement found on "18 Tracks."
This is a somber song, yet accessible, about childhood friends, with vague hints of betrayal. Supposedly it was written about Bruce's split with original manager Mike Appel. The lyrics are extraordinary ("When the promise is broken, you go on livin', but it steals something from down in your soul.") and give hints to the Appel lawsuit without being overbearing about it. For example, the chorus refers to "Thunder road" and the song ends with "take it all, and throw it all away."

Video: The song.
Favorite line: "I lived a secret I should've kept to myself, but I got drunk one night and I told it."
Instrumental highlight: Bittan's piano accompanies the song
Quibble: Somber and artsy.